


My Decision

by BunyRock



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 05:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15454578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunyRock/pseuds/BunyRock
Summary: Erwin and Levi are married for years already, when an accident changes their life. Levi fears of not only losing his love, but also to make a wrong decision.Will his decision be the right one? Will their life change?I wrote this as a short story for @leviinwinterfell on Instagram. Enjoy reading.





	My Decision

 

The ring of the telephone cuts through the silence of the usually lively room and besides the tiny "Levi" to answer it, was nothing else to jump back to live. Levi was anyious already. He didn't know why, but he walked around with a strange feeling in his gut ever since Erwin left for the meeting in Belgium. 

"Mr. Smith? It's the Rosemary Hospital."

"Yes, it's Levi Smith."

"Mr. Smith your husband had an accident and we are treating him. He is stable, but he got injured gravely and we need you to be here to sign a few documents. Is there anyone, that can bring you here?"

"Yes."

"The life of your partner is not in danger. Please call them so they can bring you over. You got time before the operation will be finished. Does your husband react allergic to any medicament?"

Levi shakes his head, which the nurse on the other line can't see at all. 

"No, he isn't. I will come as fast as I can."

"Please stay safe and calm."

"I am calm. Thank you."

He hangs up, before the woman can ask anything more. A slight tremble rises in his body and he keeps staring at the phone for a few more seconds, that feel like hours for him. He is unable to move one single muscle. His mind is racing with all kind of thoughts, while he pictures at the same time how the accident could have happened. Was it another car? Did he crashed into someone? From the front or the back? Where others injured as well? Or has it been a tree? Is the car broken? Did the airbag work? Did it not? What kind of operation? And many many more questions cloud his mind and vision until the voice of the nurse comes back to his mind. 'Call someone to bring you there." 

He has to get to Erwin now! The small man is almost sure, that Erwin can only survive with him being by his side, even if the nurse said, that his life is in no danger. For Levi the world crashed down in a split second. He feels like he has been in this accident and is injured and helpless, smashed between metal with the blood slowly leaving his body and turning him cold. 

"Hello this is the answering machine of Hanji Zoe, please leave a message behind."

Without a word he hangs up and deals another number. He is met with awfully loud street noises. A dog barks in the background, the noice of tires on asphalt can be head, a musician, a fountain and then a female voice being all breathless and partly screaming over the noises. 

"Hanji here!"

"It's me. Erwin is in the hospital."

Silence.

More silence and then an oppressed sniffle, before a cracking voice continues. 

"Where?"

"Rosemary Hospital."

"Wait. I will get you."

Beep. Levi keeps the beeping phone on his ear for a moment longer ere he reacts. 

"Thanks."

Then he hangs up and sits down in a chair. 

 

Tick tock, tick tock, click, the door opens and Hanji finds Levi in the chair half an hour after she had hung up on him. He hasn't moved an inch ever since he had sat down in the chair. His stare at the wall is blank and apathetic, which worries Hanji very much. The woman had expected a Levi all over the place, running here and there, trying to get himself together, but failing miserably, but this now is scarier. He looks like a doll with his smooth pale skin, the unusual almost grey eyes and the pitch black hair. 

"Uhm Levi?"

Levi turns his head as if he is moved by a puppeteer to look at her with no shine in his eyes at all, which is most likely a cause of the nonexistent light source in the room and the windows in his back. 

"Hanji. Good, let us go."

His voice is monoton and he is very slow in talking, even his movements are slow like those of an old man, who's body is restricting him from moving too fast. Hanji doesn't dare to rush him or to try and shake him out of his daze. It seems like Levi's body and mind are either trying to protect him or can't keep up with the amount of feelings and thoughts circulating through him all at once. 

For Levi everything moves fast, way too fast. In no time he is standing in the hospital and Hanji's talk rushes in his ear, like the blood in his veins. He has to sign a few documents, but he doesn't even know what they are, but Hanji urges him a bit to sign them, but then there is one thing that brings him back into reality and the sounds of the hospital, his current surrounding, return to him. There are people crying, weeping, moaning in pain, tapping their foot nervously, laughter, flapping of a magazine, lots of talking, a creaking of a wheel and so much more and everything so awfully loud. Then comes the hospital stench. The typical Desinfektion smell, that is a little bit calming for Levi, but currently not all too much. And then there is the vision of the nurse, that had called him. A young, middle blonde woman a little bit taller than him with a very soft look in her hazel eyes. 

"Mr. Smith I have to ask you, if we are allowed to amputate in this circumstance."

"Amputate..."

Levi still couldn't get everything, but now his daze stopped, but he still struggles to get himself focused. The nurse sighs, but mentions Levi to follow her into a little bit of quite part of the foyer. 

"Your husband's leg got gravely injured. The probability of it getting worse is very high. If we amputate right now the healing process will be better and his chance of getting used to an artificial leg is way higher as well, but we need your allowance to do so. We would need his, but as married couple you are the one responsible to make this decision."

At this moment Levi remembers what he and Erwin had talked about a while ago, after they had seen a show on TV talking about euthanasia. 

 

"You are serious about this Erwin?"

"Levi, please. This is something still in my power to clear. What if one day I have an accident... "

"The way you drive its not unlikely."

Erwin shoots a glare at Levi, but doesn't react to his comment. 

"... And I can't tell the docs what I want? You will have to decide and I know your soft heart Levi."

Levi huffs out in protest to this, but Erwin pulls him into a soft embrace, where their hips are touching and the heat of Erwins arms is seeping into Levi's back. 

"I want to make it easy for you Levi. If I can't explore the world freely or enjoy our time together with strolling down the streets, going out for dinner or making sweet love to you, it's no life for me. I don't want to be forced to live and I don't want to be crippled."

"What if you lose an arm? a leg? both?"

Levi's voice is worried and he doesn't dare to look into the soft ocean blue eyes of his lover. With a calm voice Erwin continues to calm him down. 

"There are prosthesis out there, that can even be better than the legs or arms, that I got right now."

"And you know of that already?"

"I do. Briefly, but I informed myself to cover as much as I can. I'd rather have an artificial leg, than a crippled one with pain whenever I walk around. And be honest, with the looks I got, I would look awful limping around like Quasimodo."

Erwin chuckles and Levi rolls his eyes. He still got his doubts about this all, but Erwin seems confident with everything and so Levi signs the papers and accepts Erwins wish. Both get an advanced health care directive, that ensures what the docs have to do in which case including, that none of them want to be kept alive with all means. 

 

"Mr. Smith?"

Levi snaps out of his daze and fills out the paper the nurse gave him. 

"Here."

The slight rustle of the paper is louder than any other noise in the hospital and his stare at it is unbroken, even after the nurse went away to inform the operating doctor. 

"Are you really sure about this decision Levi?"

Hanji dares to place a soft hand on Levi's shoulder, bringing his attention to her and in this world again. Slowly he nods and sighs. The color in his face still didn't returned and the apathic look remains as well. 

"I did how he asked me to do in this situation."

The nurse comes back and calls out for them to follow her into a waiting room until Erwin's operation is done. 

 


End file.
